When I first started my blog, I wrote without reservations and it was the most liberating feeling.
I’ve always been on the quieter side, preferring writing to speaking and adventuring on my own to hanging out with friends. Having a blog was like opening up my own little space to chat (mostly to myself, since no one read my blog!) and it made me immensely happy. I talked about my favorite snacks, took makeup selfies, and basically just had a good time writing amusing posts. When I started posting outfits here and there (they were nowhere near the quality photos they are now), people actually started visiting my blog. It was cool, but also a little strange, to think that real life humans were reading my posts. People seemed to like my style and my readership grew (Instagram helped- this was before the awful algorithm changes!). I started to feel like I had to write fashion posts- definitely self-inflicted, but how I felt nonetheless.
Around this time is when my family and friends started to find out about my blog and wanted to read it. I was really hesitant because I’m a very private person and highly selective about what I share, even with family, and my blog felt like my escape. Having people know my blog would be like losing something special to me. When people started to read it, I started sharing fewer and fewer personal posts because it no longer felt like a place where I could be open. Not that I have anything bad to say! But, as I said, I’m not a super talkative person and also private, so the thought of people I actually know reading my personal posts and then asking me questions or knowing certain things about me just felt like my worst nightmare (dramatic, I know, but that’s the kind of person I am)!
Anyways, the long and the short of it is that I would like to get back to sharing more personal things in my posts. When I sat down to write this post, the only thing I wanted to write about was dogs. Getting a dog has been pretty much the only thing on my mind lately. Since I almost never write about anything personal, you wouldn’t know that I went through a break-up of a long-term relationship earlier this year and pretty much fell apart. It’s easy to post photos and seem like you have everything together, but in reality, it was a struggle for me to even care about my blog anymore, or anything really (yes, that’s depression).
Now that I’m starting to feel better, the only thing I can think about is getting a dog. Since I was 18, I was part of a “something” and now I feel like I’m a “someone” on my own, which has been really hard to get used to. Especially when everyone in your life has a “someone else” and you don’t. But I don’t want a boyfriend, I want a dog! I want a mini Australian Shepard and I plan on naming him Bodhi, which means ‘enlightenment’ or ‘awakening,’ which feels symbolic for this new phase of my life. I’d call him Bo for short 🙂 My living situation isn’t quite ideal for a pup right now, but I can’t help wanting the unconditional love of a dog. There’s an Australian Shepard who’s up for adoption in a town near me and I’m hoping to get to meet him this week. He’s deaf, so you have to use sign language with him, which seems perfect to me because I took sign language for all four years of uni. It almost seems too good to be true!
What about you guys? Which of you lucky ducks has a pet (or pets!) and gets to bask in their unconditional love?! Isn’t it the best??
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